“Modern medicine is a beautiful thing” (Blog #1)

Well, it sure did sneak up on me.  Tomorrow is the official day I begin medications for my egg preservation with OVA.  I will meet with my nurse and we will walk through protocol and injection techniques for each medication.  I’m surprisingly not as nervous as I would have imagined.  I think in the weeks leading up to the process, I’ve been so caught up in minutia and details (monitoring appointments, pharmacy verification, adamant I was taking my birth control at the SAME time every day) that I forgot to be nervous for the injection part.  I see this as a win– as I know my idle mind can wander.  As I sit here, one day before I begin my medication, I realize the part I was most anxious for is actually over.  Let me explain…

The part of this process that I’ve been most anxious about, is actually having a conversation with my loved ones (specifically parents and boyfriend) about what I was embarking upon.   I am very familiar with the egg freezing process, had studied up and knew my terminology and statistics forwards and backwards – but the truth is not many people do.   I guess I was anxious because I didn’t know what their level of knowledge was on the subject and if they had an preconceived notions.

I have to say the most nerve wrecking part of it all was sharing my decision with my boyfriend.  We have dated a little over a year,  have discussed our future, and that we both want to be a part of each other’s lives  – but we have not talked about it in tremendous detail.  A lot of people have asked why I decided to freeze my eggs if I had already met and am with “the person” I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  Although I can understand that question, I guess I didn’t look at it from that perspective.  Let me explain.

I’m a 31-year-old young professional, with a very grandiose love of travel.  From a very young age, I never had the “I need to be a Mom gene”.  I was always open to it and enjoyed children but it was never my #1 priority.   I knew I wanted to build a life for myself first, have a career I loved, and embark upon adventures where I was meeting new and exciting people and seeing the unexplored countries / beaches in this beautiful world.   I’ve always been a girl that’s never had a perfect plan – planning life out a few months at a time.  I felt logical about this because I always knew life could change at any moment.   I never planned out my wedding as a young woman, because I knew that by the time I choose to get married – my tastes would be completely different from my childhood vision.  But when I decide something is best for me, I will act on it.

As I turned 30, as many can relate, you see a certain part of your friend circle drift off into adulthood.  You see friends buy houses, do the white picket fence thing, get adorable puppies and have children.  Seeing many friends embark upon that journey, it solidifies that I’m not quite ready for it yet, but at the same time it does open my eyes to the fact that I want it someday.   For me,  the worst thing that could happen was look back at 45 and know there was something I could have done at 31 that would have given me a chance at having a biological child.  I decided I’d rather go through the process today, and have eggs frozen, than look back in 10 years and wonder.  Even if I never use them, it made me feel empowered knowing that a little bit of pressure was taken off, and I could be me, and admittedly selfish, for a few more years.   Modern medicine is a beautiful thing.

But I digress – the most nerve wrecking part to me, up until this point, was having to tell my boyfriend.  He’s always been a supportive, loving man – but again you are never sure how people view these subjects or their current level of knowledge.    I got the nerve to tell him about two weeks before starting my medications, and I couldn’t have been happier with the support I received.  As a man, his first question was – 1) Was there anything morally wrong with doing this? 2) What would be his part if we had to use the eggs one day? 3) Could we still have kids the old fashioned way if we wanted to.

Ultimately, I was able to answer those questions simply, and tell him this is ultimately a back up plan.  Not one that’s 100% guaranteed, but a solid back up plan that allows us to do “us” for a few more years.  And although I am involving him in the conversation, the truth is I get to do me for a few more years.  And I don’t feel the pressure to have kids as quickly – I just feel like I’m able to breathe a bit more.  It has been quite empowering .

I realize my story and situation might be a bit different than most ladies going through the egg freezing process.  If I could offer any advice, it would be that the relief of finally making the decision to do it is the biggest hurdle but the biggest empowerment of the process.   It sometimes feels like it’s not fair that as a woman, my best child bearing years happen to coincide with the same years that I finally feel like I’m getting my life together.  The choice to freeze my eggs felt like I was taking some control back, and doing it on my timeline instead of Mother Nature’s.  Once I decided to book the official appointments, and I knew my OVA nurses and doctors had it on their schedule, I couldn’t back out.  And that was a good thing, because in a way I had other people holding me accountable.  For me, it made sense to do it right away, as I didn’t want to schedule it 4 – 5 months out and then have something personally or with work come up.

I have to say the OVA health care providers are phenomenal.  They have responded to all questions via email and text immediately and have really seen every situation possible.  No question has been too silly.

I’m still slightly anxious for the first injections tomorrow, but it has been a bit of a relief knowing my nurse will walk me through the injection steps.  She made a good point the other day – there is a reason the FDA allows us to do these shots at home – they really are that easy.  That actually put my anxiety to rest a bit.  But fear of the unknown is always the worst part.  We shall see tomorrow.   Excited to write again and my share first-hand experience about the injections and other parts of the process.