“Peace and Ease” (Egg freezing cycle 2, Blog entry 2)

This morning I had my second monitoring/ultrasound appointment. It’s my first time seeing how my body has been progressing in terms of the egg follicle growth since Saturday, which was 4 days ago.

I was anxious to see how things were moving along since that first appointment revealed 12 healthy egg follicles, 6 in each ovary. All were at normal growth rates. Today was especially exciting; those 12 have now measured in what is considered ‘healthy range’ of close to 15mm – with a few more days these will certainly be viable eggs for retrieval. Moreover, there were quite a few more egg follicles that had appeared since the last ultrasound…quite a few actually! All were measuring well and looked healthy. The technician said my uterus lining and walls were also looking very clean and strong. This is encouraging news.

When I asked during my first round of egg freezing what my numbers looked like, I was reminded that the number of egg follicles was quite high; 34 to be exact but we were only able to retrieve 12 eggs, with 7 mature enough to freeze.

So while the probability is always good to have in my favor, I am also very much aware that how they are measuring is also a strong indicator of their viability. So it is reassuring that the OVA staff is taking me slow and steady and these are measuring strong already. I also asked when I might be having my retrieval and because of the results of the first round and knowing what we do now about how easily my body responds to the stimulating hormones, but not necessarily the maturity of the eggs, we may push and go a bit longer to really get those mature eggs over the threshold to ensure their survival.

That being said, physically I feel much different than the first round. Earlier than what I can remember, I have had a bloated feeling all over, especially in my belly and my lower abdomen sometimes cramps a bit, especially at night. I also noticed last night that I occasionally have ‘butterflies’ or what feels like fleeting flutters in my stomach, almost like you were nervous or adrenaline. It is a different feeling than I have ever felt, but I understand the changes that are going on and trying to stay healthy, get enough sleep, water, healthy foods/fats and salt intake.

I thought it might be worth mentioning too, the last 5 days I would take long walks by Lake Michigan early in the morning before the hustle and bustle of the city woke up. It is a very peaceful time of day and when I usually workout, but since I cannot throughout this process, I have used this time of day to walk (to clear my head) and also reflect on this process. In my videos excerpts I have conveyed this is emotional, yes, but it is also a beautiful thing. Having a child is the most natural thing in the world since the beginning of time and having this peace and quiet the last few mornings have made me feel at ease that while this process is at the hands of capable OVA doctors and nurses, engineering every step of the way – the result, should these precious eggs need to be used, will be the very natural thing a woman, myself, contributes to in reproduction.

That philosophy – which initially gave me conflict until I came to understand it the way I have – has put me at such peace and ease that this is a wonderful thing to be doing for myself…and I am fully participating in it just like I will if and when the time comes to use these eggs. That is a beautiful miracle, just like human life is.